Soft Pretzels

I've had pretzels on the brain.

Last week my husband and I went amusement park hopping and everywhere we went there were soft baked pretzels.


Their smell taunted me for days. 
They pleaded with me to buy them all and not leave until I'd eaten every last crumb.

I finally gave in to their demands and bought one on the last day of our trip. 

But guess what?

It sucked big time!

It tasted like a big hunk of super salty dry bread.
Not cool, not cool my friends.

Since that terribly disappointing moment all I've been able to think about is righting this injustice and making myself a good pretzel.

Well that time has finally arrived. (I think I was home about 10 hours before I started making pretzels.)

It took a little time to boil, brush and bake but it was totally worth it!
These are so much better than store bought ones and I love that I can control the amount of salt on them.


The trickiest part seemed to be forming them. Next time I'm going to try to roll them thinner so they're more ummm.... pretzel like and less glob of dough like.

Soft Pretzels
Makes 8 - 10
Source: Annie's Eats


1 ½ cups warm water
1 tbsp sugar
2 tsp kosher salt
2 ¼ tsp instant yeast
4 ½ cups flour
¼ cup melted butter


⅔ cup baking soda
10 cups water
1 egg yolk beaten with 1 tbsp water
pretzel (or coarse) salt


Directions:
1. To make the dough combine the water, sugar, salt and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on low speed to dissolve the yeast. Add in the flour and melted butter until the dough just comes together. Switch to the dough hook and knead for 5 minutes until dough is smooth and pulls away from the side of the bowl.
2. Transfer to a lightly greased bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Allow to rise in a warm place for 50 - 55 minutes or until dough has doubled in size.
3. Preheat the oven to 450°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment. Bring the water and baking soda to boil in a large pot. Meanwhile, divide the dough into 8 or 10 pieces depending on the size of pretzel you want. Roll each piece into a long thin rope. Shape into a pretzel and place on the baking sheets.
4. Working with 1 or 2 at a time, boil the pretzels for 30 seconds each. Once all the pretzels have been boiled brush with the egg and sprinkle with salt. Bake in the preheated oven until dark brown (about 12 minutes). Cool 5 minutes before enjoying.

Mustard Onions and Pickles

Do you remember my Great Pickle Disaster?

No?

That's okay.

I'm trying to forgot about it too.

The same day that I bought my big box of cucumbers for those pickles I thought I needed to buy a few pounds of silver skin onions. You know the ones with the really difficult to skin to peel off?
Yea... those ones.
They were just too cute to pass up.

Initially, I thought about roasting the little guys but since my meat and potatoes hubby hates onions I didn't want to get stuck eating them all by myself.


I guess he doesn't know that love means you eat whatever your loving wife cooks for you.
I think we should've added it to our wedding vows:
"I vow to cherish you and eat whatever food you cook for me. Even if it smells like dirty diapers and I want to puke, I will chew and swallow with a smile because I know it will make you happy."

This is my four year old niece, Arielle. Isn't she beautiful? She loves helping in the kitchen and although it's not really a help when she 'helps' I love her enthusiasm. Especially when it comes to peeling onions ;)

But since he didn't vow to eat anything I cook.... I opted away from roasting them and made them into these mustard onions.


I'm pretty sure it was the better choice.
This way I'll be able to give them as gifts for Christmas to people who like onions.

So if you're on my Christmas list and you don't mind onions, you're probably gonna get a jar of these.

Mustard Cucumbers

Makes: about 6 pints

Source: The Mennonite of Treasury Recipes 

7 large cucumbers

3lbs silverskin pearl onions

2½ cups vinegar

2 cups white sugar

2 tbsp dry mustard

1 tsp ginger

1 ¾ cups water

½ cup flour

¾ tbsp turmeric

Directions:

1. Peel cucumbers and onions. Slice cucumbers. Sprinkle with salt and let stand overnight. (I didn't do this and mine seemed to turn out fine)

2. To a large saucepan add the vinegar, sugar, mustard, ginger, water, flour and turmeric. Cook on med high heat until thick and smooth (about 5 minutes.) 

3. Drain cucumbers and onions and add to sauce. Cook 10 minutes longer.

4. Fill clean sterilized jars and seal.

Easy Jam Tartlettes

I'm sorry.

I've been busy.
I haven't been around these parts much lately.

I've been other places.

Like Trader Joe's.
The San Diego Zoo.
Knott's Berry Farm.
Disneyland.
And Trader Joe's again and again.

So needless to say I haven't been baking much. I've been eating much, though.

Oh believe me, I've been eating.

I've been eating funnel cakes, churros, pretzels, popcorn, and fried chicken.

(Clearly I like to eat healthy while I'm away.)

Before I left on my little don't-have-a-kitchen-so-I'll-eat-lots-of-junk voyage I made a batch of these little beauties.

I was procrastinating.

Who likes to pack when you can bake?

They were easy. Hence the name.

They were good. They're in my freezer.

I want one now. Or maybe five.

I think they'll be a healthy balance to what I've been eating lately.

Jam has fruit in it so I'll just count it as my fruit for the day and cornmeal's a vegetable, right?

Easy Jam Tartlettes

Makes: 24

Source: David Lebovitz's Ready for Dessert

1 ½ cups flour

½ cup cornmeal

2 tsp baking powder

½ tsp salt

9 tbsp unsalted butter

½ cup granulated sugar

2 eggs (1 of them separated)

⅛ tsp almond extract

1 ½ tsp jam (I used plum)

Directions:

1. In a small bowl combine flour, cornmeal, baking powder and salt. In a stand mixer with a paddle attachment blend butter and sugar until smooth.

2. Add the egg, egg yolk and almond extract until blended. Gradually add flour mixture until dough just comes together.

3. Transfer about 1/3 of the dough to a lightly floured counter and roll into a log. Wrap in plastic wrap and put in the fridge (or freezer) until firm. Press about 1 heaping tbsp of  the remaining dough into each cup of a mini tart pan. Press into the bottom and up the sides. Place in the fridge until firm.

4. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Fill each tart shell with a good spoonful of jam. Use a sharp paring knife to cut round discs from the dough 'log'. Place one dough circle on each tart.

5. Bake for 10 - 15 minutes or until crust is golden. Let sit in pan for 5 minutes and then remove and place on a cooling rack.

Applesauce Spice Cake

This my non fancy shmancy cake.
It's what'd I'd call an 'everyday cake'.


Everybody needs to eat a little cake everyday.
I know I sure do.

Didn't someone once say, ''An apple a day keeps the doctor away''?

Well, that's all I'm doing here. Staying in good health.

They didn't specify it couldn't be in cake form.

In fact, I think what they meant to say was, ''An apple, made into applesauce and then made into spice cake topped with light cinnamon cream cheese frosting a day will keep you in such high spirits that your health will have to go the way of your smile and that's what will keep the doctor away.''

I speak only truth.

Leave me a comment with your favourite everyday cake.

Spiced Applesauce Cake w/cinnamon cream cheese frosting

Serves: 10

Source: Smitten Kitchen

For the cake:

2 cups all purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

½ tsp baking soda

½ tsp salt

¾ tsp cinnamon

½ tsp ground ginger

⅛ tsp cloves

½ cup soft unsalted butter

1 cup packed brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 eggs

1 ½ cups unsweetened apple sauce

For the frosting:

5oz cream cheese, softened

3 tbsps unsalted butter. salted

¼ tsp vanilla extract

1 cup icing sugar

½ tsp cinnamon

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350°F with rack in middle. Butter an 8- or 9-inch square cake pan.
2. Make cake: Whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and spices. Beat butter, brown sugar, and vanilla with an electric mixer at high speed until pale and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition, then beat in applesauce. At low speed, mix in flour mixture until just combined. The batter will look a little curdly and uneven but don’t worry, it will all bake up perfectly in the end.
3. Spread batter evenly in pan and bake until golden-brown and a wooden pick inserted into center comes out clean, about 35 to 40 minutes. Cool in pan 15 minutes. Run a knife around edge of cake to loosen, then invert onto a plate. Reinvert cake onto a rack to cool completely. 
4.Make frosting: Beat cream cheese, butter, and vanilla with an electric mixer at high speed until fluffy. Sift confectioners sugar and cinnamon over cream cheese mixture, then beat at medium speed until incorporated. Spread frosting over top of cooled cake.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

I have arrived at my banana chocolate chip destiny.

This is it.

This is my muffin.

It's my go to muffin when I have a bunch of black bananas threatening to burst their guts on my kitchen counter.

It's cakey, it's moisty, it's chocolately and it's easy.

It's breakfast, it's dessert and it's a snack all packed into one.

Make it as muffins or make it as a loaf. It doesn't judge.

Everyone needs a good banana chocolate chip muffin/loaf in their repertoire,

make this one yours.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

Barely adapted from: The Kitchy Kitchen

Makes: 15 muffins

1 cup sugar

½ cup butter

3 cups mashed bananas (about 5)

2 eggs

2 cups flour 

½ cup milk

1 tsp white vinegar

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp vanilla

½ tsp salt

½ cup walnuts (optional)

1 cup chocolate chips

Directions:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 F. In a small bowl, mix the milk and vinegar together, letting the milk curdle slightly (you'll see tiny clumps stick two a spoon). 

2. Sift together the dry ingredients. Cream the butter and sugar together until fluffy, then add the eggs one at a time. While on low, add the dry ingredients then the milk alternatively, ending with the milk. Add the vanilla. 

3.Turn off the mixer and fold in the bananas, walnuts, and chocolate chips. Pour into greased muffin cups bake for 20-25 minutes. The muffins should be a deep golden brown and bounce back if you push it.

Sex In a Pan

Sex doesn't look like this:

Occasionally, it ends up looking more like this:

But you have to admit, 'Sex in a Pan' is a catchy name.

Layer #1

A name like 'Carnal Knowledge in a Pan' just wouldn't bring the same intrigue.

Layer #2

I'm sure most virgins people would jump at the chance to try this naughty dessert without even knowing what the ingredients are.

Layer #3

And it truely is no contraceptive necessary, ultra safe sex (in a pan).

Ok......

I'm done.

Layer #4

I really can't talk about sex in public.
It's just not me.
I can smile politely at other's jokes. But really. I don't even like admitting that that munchkin maybe, possibly, there's a small chance..... well you know...... um..... sort of....... is..... well her Dad and I...... ......we're married....... so..... um ...... yea....what about that dessert again?

Sex In a Pan

Makes: 12 - 15 pieces

Source: Bonnie Johnson  from the RPC 50th Anniversary Cookbook

1 cup flour

½ cup butter

1 cup chopped almonds

8oz pkg cream cheese

1 cup icing sugar

1 cartoon Cool Whip

1 pkg chocolate instant pudding

1 pkg vanilla instant pudding

3 cups milk

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease a 9 x 13 inch pan. Beat together flour and butter. Add the nuts. Press firmly into the prepared pan. Bake for 20 mins or until golden. Allow to cool completely.

2. Beat together softened cream cheese and icing sugar until light and fluffy. Add 1 cup of cool whip and gently mix. Spread over cooled base.

3. Beat chocolate pudding with 1 ½ cups of milk until thick. Pour over cream cheese layer and gently smooth it out.

4. Beat vanilla pudding with 1 ½ cups of milk until thick. Pour over chocolate pudding layer.

5.Spread with remaining cool whip. Sprinkle with grated chocolate or almonds.